After six months of mostly unsuccessful searching I had learned a few lessons, had a few shags and spent many both emotional and financial resources. I decided to call it a day, but as an exercise it was sooooo worthwhile, so I left these thoughts on my profile...
I'm cancelling my sub. Thought I'd like to write a little postscript to say bye to you all.
In my six months on here I've learnt a lot, about myself, women, men even. I'm gonna start off with the men, coz they seem to have most issues. Guys, by and large this is not a site where casual sex is the main aim. There are many, many others for that, and most of them are more expensive. Have a little regard, if you just need a shag don't read signs that aren't there. When someone says she is looking for a relationship she means more than between the covers. Don't wink, no-one cares about winkers. Send an email every time, and do your very best not to mention bodily fluids.
That said, this is one of the most heavily promoted sites and many girls aren't that web savvy. So there is a sprinkling of girls who just openly want some more va va voom in their lives - many thx Diane - and a larger undertow of women who are actually quite content with life and really only want some pleasant company that doesn't needs batteries. A lot of these will tick the 'erotica' box, tho some do that in the mistaken belief that it makes them look more interesting. In reality it makes you a Target for a selection of lolifes that you wouldn't want in your postcode, let alone bedroom. If you really are looking more for Mr Capable than Mr Right you might want to think about lowering your age requirements. I maintain there isn't a man over 21 who would chuck Carol Vorderman out, but women haven't yet grasped this, in the same way that Marilyn Monroe is infinitely - and then some - preferable to Mrs Beckham. If you purely want some passion reignition, put yourself out to blokes 5 years older than your son. You might be surprised...
I'd also like to take a potshot at the dread adjective 'bubbly'. Fer Pete's sake. Just because you like a giggle with the girls in the office doesn't make you a weather girl. Bubbly girls read Heat magazine and do sudoku in the lunch hour. Are you looking for men who read Nuts and play solitaire in the lunch hour? What causes bubbles? Air!!! You're telling the world there's nothing going on in there. Try 'friendly', 'gregarious' even. Same meaning, better connotation.
If you're actually looking for Mr Right, have a long bath while considering carefully what is actually important to you in the long run. Chances are high that 'money' is higher up the list than you'd like to admit. Not only do most men lack a GSOH, so do most women. If you lead an ordinary life where the nearest you'll get to a career is a couple more carpet tiles in your cubicle accept the fact. Telling yourself that you really do have a chance with the guy who drives a Ferrari is Route One to disillusion. We are Men. You won't get any sense out of us till you've seen our etchings, honestly. If you want one, you'll have to deal with this truth.
And finally, myself. I've learnt that almost all of the girls on here are really good people, in stark contrast to the men apparently. My circumstances are to say the least unusual but I've been met almost universally with fun, friendship and compassion. I've realised that if I do manage to get my act together there will be someone out there for me, it's an enormous spur and a massive boost to my self esteem. I can honestly say that this site has made me more rounded, more assured and most importantly happier than I was before.
For that, thank you all x
NB. Just a note about the testimonials from two magic ladies, both of whom I met on Match. I've never heard from, let alone met, a girl who was anything less than completely gorgeous on here. As predicted I wasn't Mr. Right, then again I wasn't totally Mr. Wrong either. Apparently there's a few of those out there :( Cheers girls, my life is a better place for meeting you x
A problem I had writing this was how to label over-40yo females. Women just sounds too, well, workmanlike, whilst 'girls' is a bit Leslie Phillips, but I stuck with it. Don't take offence, a rose by any other name...
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