Listen, I don't want to write volumes of lies about myself to impress the girls, I just want to get to the women please. This signup is like trying to get sense out of a call centre. Press 3 if you would like to continue...
... Please hold. Your self-promotion is important to us ...
A lot of women out there seem to looking for Mr. Right. Past experience suggests that he's probably not me. A lot also seem to want a 'nice guy'. Now I'm definitely one of those, but experience also shows that we're at the back of any queue. I've got an idea that a lot of people are lying to themselves more than the outside world.
To sum up: I'd like a woman. Any shape, any size, who smokes enough not to nag me about it, and has an IQ between 110 and 130. It's a small list but set in stone. Anything else, like morbid vegetarianism or tantric crochet, line dancing or organic cycling is down to chemistry, and will be nothing more than a topic for discussion (and/or derision). I myself have a positvely nerdish knowledge of insects, but will inflict that on you as little as possible.
In return you get a bloke who cares, remembers your birthday, pretends to like your cat and can supply infinite succour and support, friendship and shelving. Any takers?
Incidentally, should this post aquire a female readership, or indeed any readers at all, the above still applies.
I'm so interested;)
ReplyDelete@tia - Can you smoke in the sauna in Finland? :-D
ReplyDelete@fiatpanda - I'm upset by your change of heart on the comment, but thx for the promo anyhow. Who knows, one line on Twitter might presage the patter of shiny divorce papers :-)
ReplyDeleteYou could try the savusauna (smoke sauna) it is a special type of sauna without a chimney.
ReplyDeleteBring some wine, we'll get kippered together.
ReplyDeleteseems like an ok deal to me if you add a bit of motogp & rugby LOL (MissScooby)
ReplyDeleteOh for fuck's sake, a male without an ego,who actively seeks a clever bird of any shape or size? Hmmmph.
ReplyDeleteThe reason you are single me dear is that you are clearly far too good to be true. And I am desperately, seethingly jealous of whichever lucky lass you end up with.
Good luck out there, kitten.
Go go go, tiger. I deleted my original comment because it was a mean one and I had decided to be good that day ;-)
ReplyDelete(fiatpanda)